Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Go hard or go home

Today, I think I'll go home.  It is one of those mornings where I'm really NOT feeling it.... (What "it" exactly is, I'm not sure.)  I think it stems from too much stimulus over the past few days and no real "me" time.  I actually crave me time.  I have to have it in order to function.

I don't remember the last time I had a weekend without a million plans.  I pack my weekends full of fun stuff just to get through the weeks.  That is life, I guess.

In other news, I'm doing VERY well with not eating red meat.  No more slip-ups!  I did have some parmesan last night.  Saying no to cheese is MUCH harder than expected.  I also meditated yesterday (but not today yet....) and went to yoga.  I nearly died in the yoga class.  Not sure what the deal was, it was packed, I hadn't worked out in 4 days, flew the day before, dehydrated.... not sure, but I had to go into child's pose during the balancing poses because I thought I was going to faint!  Fainting would be bad!

I totally miss Arizona.  It was amazing weather, got a tiny bit of pool time, and lots of family time.  Coming home to cold nastiness was NOT fun.  I'm fairly sure I was born to live someplace warm.

These two have the life.  Now India Mittens smacks Beau's feet when he is sleeping.  WTF is wrong with that cat?

Post run, still working on it.  Disappointed today that I gained 3lbs on vacation :-(  I want to cry.

Poolside in AZ.  Soaking in those last little rays.  

Does anyone else feel like they do things for other people instead of themselves?  I think I have done that my entire life.  Sometimes it seems like I don't even know how to make a decision based on ME and not what other people will think.  This is one fear that I have got to get over and, like everything, is a work in progress.  I'm always afraid that if I do something for ME then other people will think I'm stupid, or even worse, selfish.  Guess what people, you've got to be selfish.  That is how you survive in life.  I'm not saying to not have empathy or be a complete ass, but if you don't love yourself first, you'll never be worthy.

I've been debating on the direction I want to take this blog, or if I want to take it anywhere at all.  Because of the nature of what I do it is somewhat difficult for me to be too open or real.  Then again, it is nice to have a space that is (mostly) full of positivity and self-betterment.  For now, I'm not going to stress.  There is no point.  This is my fun space and my escape space.

Till next time.



1 comment:

Carolyn said...

Being selfish is vital. I just got an email about this, and the message is basically this: Make sure that you are happy and taken care of so that you can help others be happy and be taken care of.