I feel like life is a constant struggle of trying to excel, always be the best me I can be, and just wanting life to be simple. Easy. Why do we have to make things hard all of the time? I went to dinner with friends last night for a birthday. I'm on this cleanse thing where I'm not supposed to have alcohol, dairy, fatty meats, wheat, etc. Well, we went to the Melting Pot. Did I order a simple salad and call it a day? NO, I engorged myself on all of the deliciousness. Today, I was two lbs heavier on the scale. Those 2 lbs that I struggled and starved and ran for, all down the drain. Again, I have to ask myself, why isn't this easy? Why can't I just ENJOY my meal with my friends, get up this morning, go for a run today and not gain weight? Why can't it just be easy? I guess it is easy. I need to eat less. Plain and simple.
I'm also struggling because I would like a lot less stress in my life. Just for a little bit maybe. Remember spring break? Summer vacation? Right now I'm fantasizing about a summer in Paris. With trips around France. Brining one small suitcase with me, watching my money closely and being as French as I can be. Enjoying two hour lunches. The beauty. The architecture. The smells. The fashion. The crepes and patisseries.