Sunday, June 20, 2010

Guilt

I just had an experience that I am really conflicted on the way I acted. A homeless man, wet, shivering, hungry rang the doorbell and wanted to do some gardening work. It is 56 degrees out and pouring rain. HORRIBLE weather. Not gardening weather. He didn't seem threatening. He seemed wet and cold. I of course said I couldn't help him and basically shut the door in his face. (I am really uncomfortable with strange men knocking on the door.) Why didn't I give him the left over bagels and a water? (Leaving him on the porch w/ the door locked, of course.) After he left I of course saw the bagels sitting there and went back outside but he was no where to be found. Should I be ashamed of my behavior? Then again, I care about my personal safety and the safety of my home. UGH, why did I even answer the door???? And why do I feel sooooooo guilty? B/c I'm sitting on my fancy couch in my fancy house, warm, dry, with a roast in the slow cooker and reading a book on my iphone. I guess it is a reminder of how great my life really is. A reminder to not forget that or ever take it for granted.

Oh, I also told him to come back when L gets home. L is going to love that.

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