It is almost here....

The big 3-0.

Monday.

Scary.

Exciting.

I am having a hard time organizing my thoughts for this blog post.  Usually I think of something, type type type away, and hit "post."  This time I feel compelled to post something but honestly have a lack of words.  I think I'm more afraid than a lot of my friends to turn 30.  Does this mean I'm an adult?  Do I have to start acting a certain way?  In a lot of ways I'm excited to be 30.  My 20s are done, I can take all of that knowledge and apply it.  I know so much more about myself than I did at 20.  (Not that I would ever want to be 20 again!)  I'm pretty happy.  And that, right there, is what I'm afraid of.... Does anyone else ever feel like that?  You are pretty content so....?  I guess life is all about changing and realizing that you cannot control anyone but yourself.  I struggle with that.  I want certain things to happen and I feel like others should do X, Y, and Z.  In reality, I need to learn to let go of what I cannot control. 

Over the weekend I am going to be thinking about what I want over the next year, next 5 years, next decade.  Really, the biggest thing that I want to do is let go.  Let go of what I cannot control.  Realize that no matter what happens in the future I'll be OK.  I'm me and I'm OK.